For many, many years I have been yelling within the echo chamber of the church, only to be ignored or considered a pariah . Within a denominational power structure is a known rapist – a known abuser of power. This person continues to wield much power and influence over and within the church. My yelling has been heard, but ignored, and in the process I have been dismissed, even as abuses of power continued. The church loves parlor games – shuffling the deck, moving the shells around. You can dismiss a person; blackball them and ignore them, but it does not change reality.
One day, I had a very well respected middle judicatory leader tell me on the phone, “Patrick, it is as if you are just trying to ruin his career.”
Think about that for a minute.
His career.
His career.
I am just trying to ruin his career.
Let that sink in.
Let the disgusting nature of that sink in.
A father of daughters, a grandfather of granddaughters seemed to be more concerned about the career of an abuser than the impact that abuse has had on a victim or victims.
I have never been silent on this issue, and I never will. I have, however, experienced attempts at silencing me in the form of retribution, at times to the detriment of my career.
A year ago this past week, an audiotape was released to the public containing two voices: the first was that of a male celebrity journalist and the other belonged to the current occupant of the White House. In that tape, the latter was heard detailing multiple cases in which he committed acts of sexual assault and harassment. The former of the two voices was heard in nervous chuckles and attempts to re-direct the conversation. He made inappropriate comments about a co-worker. He was fired for his complicity, while the other won the Electoral College and became President.
Just this week, a New York Times report detailed the decades long abuse, harassment, and possible acts of rape committed by one of the most powerful and influential media moguls in the country, Harvey Weinstein. Weinstein’s acts are despicable and atrocious, and he is currently being punished in the court of public opinion and through the loss of employment, power, finances, and respect. Time will only tell if he is held accountable by legal means.
Since the Times report, not only have more women come forward with horror stories of abuse by Weinstein, there have also been questions about who-knew-what-when, the sin of silence, and calls for continued accountability for those who knew, but remained silent. One of Weinstein’s victims, actress Rose McGowen had her Twitter account temporarily suspended for “violation” of the social media platform’s terms of services. Her sin? Publicly calling out a powerful male colleague who feigned shock and called for accountability of Weinstein’s actions, even though he had been aware of the behavior for years.
The actions of Twitter – the silencing of a victim and critic of an abuser – are themselves common forms of abuse. They are meant to demean, intimidate and potentially gaslight the victim/critic. Over the weekend, there was a boycott of Twitter by women to call attention to the abuse of silencing victims and critics. As a result of the protest, the CEO of Twitter issued somewhat of a mea culpa and pledged to do “more” in the future <insert eyeroll here>.
What does this have to do with the church?
A lot.
Everything.
Most likely nothing.
Because I do not believe the church cares about sexual assault.
Every time I have raised this issue, it is met with disdain and apathy. There are plenty in denominational circles who roll their eyes each time I speak to this. They will do so again, should they read this or hear of it. I have lost relationship with people I once considered friends over this issue. My ministry and my family have been impacted over this issue.
Do I care?
No.
I do not.
I. Do. Not. Care.
I do not care because there are far too many victims who are criticized, gaslighted, and face continued abuse, not only at the hands of the original abuser, but also by those who wish to prop up a powerful system, a system that tells and trains its pastors to be bold, prophetic, and speak truth to power … unless that power is theirs, and that truth has to do with an abuser they protected and enabled. I do not care what others thinks because their complicity is their issue and not mine.
It is their sinfulness and not mine.
It is their abuse and not mine.
The church has a credibility problem. Pastors and other leaders within the church system will speak “boldly” against all forms of sexual abuse and other abuses of power when it involves someone famous – someone “out there” – someone distant. But let the abuser be someone who works down the hall, or whose ministry impacts their financial security, well …
Then the church has a theological problem. It has a theological problem because it refuses to address the live oak protruding from their eye while calling into question the splinter found within the eyes of media moguls and politicians.
This means the church has a sin problem, sins of commission and omission. The church has failed to hold accountable one of its own – one who has abused women, congregations, and processes. By doing so, the church has abused those who would dare not keep silent.
So, I really do not think the church gives a damn about sexual abuse, at least when it involves one of their own who has great power and authority. The church only cares when those whose lives are considered celebrity commit it.
But, that is low hanging fruit.
Then again, legend has it, the low hanging fruit has always been there for us to pick.
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